Meghan, I really enjoyed reading your reflections on chapters 5-8. First, that story about your mom really touched me. I am close with the principal’s secretary at our school, and I can imagine just how the situation went down. I think it is such a shame that some people are not in a place in their lives where they feel comfortable enough with themselves that they can admit mistakes. Why do some feel that they are so much better than others that they can assume perfection? So what if you mess up and were adamant that you were right….admit it and make a joke of it! My dad and I always say begrudgingly, “you were right and I was wrooooongg, what do I owe ‘ya”? You are so right that just the simple act of acknowledging that someone has helped you is huge: they feel empowered, appreciated, and like they have purpose. I feel so wonderful when a student takes the time to thank me for something I helped them with. It makes all the other trials and tribulations worth it.
I’m so sorry that the application of rule #6 was needed for you in that way recently. How shocked and hurt you must have felt when your friend broke the bond of trust. I have been in similar situations, and know that the first reaction is to give up on the friendship out of spite and anger. And although it may seem harder at first, I think that applying rule #6 is actually easier, and more rewarding, than that alternative. I try to imagine when I’ve done something that needs forgiveness, and “let it ride”. Usually, not blowing up when you first react is the right thing to do!
That is great that you go for the silver lining in things, but I know its hard at times to get beyond superficial judgments, or grouping small negatives into one big negative. I too, need to watch the sarcasm use in my classroom. I remember my education professor in undergrad saying to NEVER use it…but sometimes I think it wakes the kids up and builds rapport. I don’t want to hurt any feelings though, or use it with someone who isn’t ready for it. I hope we get to embrace our passions more frequently when we get a little more time after this program, Meghan! I agree that painting, music, or just being somewhere beautiful really helps…
In the first chapter Leading From Any Chair, I couldn’t help think about my mother. She works in a school as the secretary to the principal. The principal received an email last week that a report needed to be ran. He never told my mother or the person that was supposed to run the report, but my mom found out from another school. When she brought it up that he may have missed an email, he said he never received it. A few hours later, after going back to him again, he forwarded the email and said he had just gotten it (which we all know, emails are time stamped). Instead of admitting his own mistake, he, like the conductors, tried to let it slide and hoped no one noticed.
The mere act of kindness and acknowledging that other people help you do a job is severely under-used. If you give ANY kind of praise to people who are helping you, or even say thank you to them, it brings up esteem and also encourages people to continue to work hard for you. I guess we could all work on this in different ways. I personally could work on always encouraging my students in ways that they are doing well. I can be sarcastic, which doesn’t work well with all of my students.
The next Chapter, the Rule number 6, took a more person attack on a way I’ve been feeling for a week now. I was very betrayed by someone I thought I could trust. A friend of mine told another friend of mine something very personal, and very atomic. I knew that the word had spread, and I wasn’t sure of where it had started. I found out and instead of confronting the issue, I recoiled and hid from everyone. Here, I need to follow Rule number 6, and stop taking myself so seriously. People talk, and say things that aren’t theirs to say, and sometimes there are things that get said that we don’t want said. It’s a part of human nature, and if I really didn’t want anyone to know, I wouldn’t have said it in the first place. I’m still hurt, but I’m letting it go in my own time.
The Way Things Are…I’ve always tried to see the cloud with a silver lining, and look on the bright side of things. A much easier said than done thing to accomplish. I’m one of those people, once I start feeling negative, everything that’s negative seems to find me. I’m sure that has everything to do with the way I am looking at things, rather than the world being out to get me. If we can laugh and play with the bad things that happen to us, a much more light hearted attitude would be had by everyone around us!
I would love to give way to passion more. Sometimes we are so stuck in living life day to day we forget to give in to the natural flow of life an energy. I try to recognize the energy around me, but I’ll be honest…the only real times I feel a surge of energy run through me are when I’m by the ocean watching the waves, or listening to music and painting. Then I can truly let passion run through me and I feel at one with everything around me.